Dunsmoke
I gone and broken my 5 year plan (cf. previous entries)!! Stupid really. If you have a plan you should stick to it - I know this, I know it from business and I know it from life. So why break the rules?
What I've done is I've given up smoking. I wasn't planning on doing that until 2008, and then o nly when I'd consolidated my weight-loss. Instead, Saturday night I had my last cigarette.
You see, I was sat there on Saturday, head hung out the back door like some vanquished puppy, puffing away on what was probably my 30th cigarette of the day. I thought to myself, 'am I actually enjoying this?'. There was a timne when I insisted I enjoyed it - I think I did - the mild buzz was enticing and enjoyable, it was relaxing and it was social. There was this tim, but, when I thought about it, that time was long gone. So, I thought some more . . . I'm 30, I've been smoking for 17 years. I have two kids. I had my physiotherapist tell me that I kept injuring my back and slipping discs because of smoking. My asthma isn't improving because of smoking. I am almost recovered from agoraphobia and that crutch of needing a *** when travelling - that's gone. I'm NOT enjoying it, and the only thing that is stopping me from giving up is the fear that I will undo all the good work I've done in my weight loss. This is still possible. THEN everything fitted into place . . .
Sunday Morning, after church, a trip to the pharmacist. Now, this was the first morning in 17 years that I hadn't had a cigarette, and, yes, I was tetchy - not unreasonable. I go into the chemist, expecting to see the the same old guy who's been in there for years only to find he's retired, and here's a new guy. I chatted to him and explained my situation and he told me I was his first ever customer (patient?) in this town, he'd just bought the place and this was his first day, AND in his last pharmacy in London he had helped 1400 people give up smoking and he'd help me. He spent ages goingthrough everything, realy taking charge ofteh management of it and me and, great, I'm patched up, I have a puffy thing to suck on and I haven't murdered anyone. Yet.
As for the weight loss, watch this space - there are ways and means - and it's not as if I'm tying to do everything at once - the diet/healthy eating is already well underway - it'll just be a bit more difficult. I reckon things are only as difficult as you make them. I keep in mind the over-all aim. This is about ME and MY kids. I don't want to die too young.
In other news, I watched 'The Forgotten' on Saturday on DVD - a flick from a few years ago staring Julieanne Moore. What a great film, bit of a lsow start, but I love a good psychological thriller and this fitted the bill. My dear wife fell asleep while watching it, but then again she always does, and I do make a wonderfully comfortable pillow!
I've also started reading Vladamir Nabakov's 'Lolita'. Dialogue's a bit stilted (Dialouge is always the bit that suffers in translations I find), but it's a darn good read apart from that.
Pip, pip!